You know those limp-wristed drop outs who promise to turn up for something then come up with an excuse for not making it? Well, I'm now officially one of them

You might know I've been having a bit of trouble (ooohhh Betty!) with my bike and being a dullard with the spanners I got it into the dealers this week in the expectation that they would know WHAT THE F*CK THEY WERE DOING and FIX THE C*NTING THING. As you may have just ascertained they failed miserably due to a combination of starting too late and being a complete bunch of clueless twats.
I could have f*cked it up myself and not had to pay FFS!
Anyway, that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it. I hope you have a great time and remember
it is a race and if you get left behind it's because you are too slow No....... I mean it's not a race so enjoy the day